Podcasts

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An R-rated voicemail almost takes the show in an ugly direction. Listener “Mike the Trucker” wants JB to teach him how to sing Kenny Chesney’s “There Goes My Life” for his daughter’s wedding. With the Sturgis motorcycle rally happening this week, JB remembers trying to join Hells Angels with founder Sonny Barger. Buzz is annoyed by news reporters wearing masks on TV and is going to hell for stealing avocados. Plus: we’re “afraid of Americans” – some weird/gross stories from the week, and of course, it’s Pat the complainer with another voicemail, and this time she actually likes something…and it’s not sand!

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We talk to some people in the news: Lynn from Lake Geneva questions Chicago’s plans to fine people who don’t quarantine after visiting Wisconsin and Richard from Austin explains how he caught his Uber Eats driver eating his chicken wings. JB warns against car washes with tracks after getting stuck in one and crushing his car. We play some quick requests from the archives (a denied Lobster Gram, a kid named Stoner, the making of a Neil Diamond album), and more!

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We chat with our favorite mate across the pond, U.K. radio personality Graham Mack, about the latest news out of Britain and more. In this week’s edition of Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You, L.A. listener Sean spills stories from his job cleaning celebrities’ carpets. JB dials up “bear whisperer” Steve Searles after hearing he lost his job due to the coronavirus. Plus, JB can’t quit these two women: Anita Tequila (he calls her back to ask “excuse me, señor, do you have any hats?”) and it’s Pat the Complainer and her latest voicemail closing the show on an upbeat note again!

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JB & Buzz remember Charlie Daniels and have a séance with Dead Harry Caray to talk about the upcoming baseball season. JB plays the robocalls he’s been getting and calls one back. We try to learn from animal attack stories in the news, follow-up with Sergio (the listener we eavesdropped on in Episode 13) and Anita Tequila (the waitress at Buzz’s favorite Mexican restaurant, who now has a wacky weenie written about her), and end the show with another upbeat voicemail from Pat the Complainer.

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After some trouble connecting via Zoom, Jimmy Buffett joins the show from his quarantine in “dry dock.” He talks about his latest album Life on the Flip Side, from the notes he got from Paul McCartney to the stories behind the songs Cussin’ Island, Hey, That’s My Wave, and Johnny’s favorite, Book on the Shelf (which also made Buzz “well up”). He talks about his postponed shows (“for 42 years I’ve been telling people I’d take a summer off, this is not what I had in mind”), how he’s staying connected to fans, and more. Plus: he performs an unplugged cover of Everybody’s Talkin’ by Fred Neil.

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Johnny and Buzz remember (or try to remember) bits from the Brandmeier Show archives requested by listeners. This episode features celebrity wake-up calls to Danny Glover and Ray Charles, acting with Oprah, “Harry Caray” and “Jerry Lewis” doing scenes from Pulp Fiction, music from John Fogerty and Eddie Money, JB Scambos gone bad, that time producer Jimmy “Bud” Wiser was stuffed in a barrel and rolled around by a bull, and more.

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Chicago restaurants reopened on June 26 – Buzz was too nervous to call and find out if his favorite Mexican restaurant was still in business, so he asked Johnny to do it. He did, and met Anita, the most excited waitress ever. We discuss how masks are dividing Americans, eavesdrop on a listener, catch a few stories before they fall through the cracks, and more. Plus: there’s a possible new sponsor for the show, but Buzz has to “trim it up” before they pay up.

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JB and Buzz talk about the crazy new NBA rules. JB reads emails from Everywhere, USA, including Utah, where he couldn’t get a drink without a “sponsor.” According to a new poll, America’s unhappy, a sheriff’s unhappy when she can’t get an Egg McMuffin, a listener’s unhappy with Johnny, and some are still unhappy with Nickelback! In honor of Father’s Day: a special Loon Dad edition of “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You”, JB plays some calls he made to his dad and ends with the song he wrote about him after he passed away… oh pish posh.